Random musings...

One of my classes and me...

I have had a fairly quiet week here in Korea. I am back to a normal work schedule, which is wonderful after four weeks of feeling as if all I ever did was work. I was teaching an extra 3 hours every morning for a summer school that most english academies have here in Korea. When the students are out on summer vacation, many of them attend an academy or camp instead. God forbid these children have time to play! Above is a picture of me with my class - they were really cute!

I realized last weekend that I have overlooked writing about some of the interesting aspects of my apartment. It is a good size for one person, but if I was living with someone else, it would be tight. I have a washer, but no dryer, so I have to dry my clothes on a rack - quite a different experience, but not so difficult to get used to. I just think of it as doing my part to conserve energy! :)

 The most difficult, and one of the funnier, things to get used to the first day or so, was the toilet in my apartment. It is called a bidet, and it has all kinds of functions I have only heard about. The first night I got here, I could not for the life of me figure out how to flush the toilet. I did, however, learn the function of several of the buttons. One of them is a stream of water meant to clean the bum. Another function is air that blows softly - to dry the bum. Since everything is in Korean, I had no idea how to turn either function off again. Needless to say, I was a bit afraid of the toilet for the next day. I did eventually figure out how to flush the toilet, the button was in the same pace as most toilets. Go figure.

Another fun little toy I have in my apartment is a

 built in phone and camera. I don't use the phone, but the camera is great. it might be more useful in a larger house, but it is still really great. When

 someone rings the doorbell, it rings into the phone and I can see the person outside through the screen in the phone. I can also just turn it on to look outside my door without having to go to the door - you know in case there are a bunch of people being loud outside...or something...  I also have a keypad to enter my apartment, which means that without a car, I have no keys here! I don't ever have to look for my keys - that is exciting since I tend to misplace mine every week or so.

One of the things I was really excited about here in Korea was getting to experience new food. Mariko and Brandon and I went to the COEX mall two weekends ago ( the entire mall is underground) and had lunch at a great restaurant named Todai. It is a chain that is in some places in the states, and it was so great! The restaurant is an all-you-can-eat Japanese restaurant. That means limitless sushi! It was so great - I think we spent like 2 hours there! They had sushi, sashimi cut right off of the fish, all kids of Japanese and Chinese dishes, even some Indian food. We will definitely be going back!

After almost 2 months here in Korea, I can say that I am feeling more comfortable here. Most of the really difficult parts of getting used to a new home, new culture, and new job have passed. I am starting to really enjoy my time here, although keeping in touch with family and friends back home has made that transition much easier. Thank goodness for the internet, instant messaging, and, of course, the web cam!

I hope everything is going great for everyone! More later ~

Living history

I find that one of the most rewarding aspects of traveling, of taking my little world beyond my little world, is having the opportunity to really experience history.  To really experience social studies, language, geography.  This last weekend I went to one of the palaces here in Seoul, and while I was not entirely enthusiastic about going, I nonetheless found myself mesmerized by the history that the palace represented.  I find that from a distance historical monuments hold little significance to me, and I have to be in their presence to gain much from them.  I can never truly understand the lives and lifestyle that are represented in an ancient place such as the one I visited, but I can tuck it away with all of the the other things that create the kaleidoscope that is my paradigm.   I can hope that I will someday look back and see the various minute or grand ways in which it impacted me.  There are many palaces and other important sites in Seoul, and throughout Korea, and Asia that I would like to see.  I will enjoy learning from them and seeing what they have to offer, but at the moment I am more interested in another type of experience I will be getting to take part in.  

My friend Mariko asked me to go on a tour to a place called The Sharing House in a couple of weekends. (If you are interested in learning more about it yourself,  you can check out the link in the previous sentence or click here for another, different website - Namun House ).  One of the more tragic aspects of Korean history is the story of the comfort women.   These women, referred to and addressed now as halomi, or grandmother, were used by the Japanese during WWII as sex slaves.  Korea was occupied by Japan at the time, and so, in the interest of the war,  Japan stole between 100,000 and 200,000 women and young girls away from their homes and sent them to the various places throughout the world where Japanese soldiers were stationed.  These women were raped repeatedly on a daily basis, many were killed, others were abandoned in far places after the war.  None of these women were paid any respect, and most of them lived a life of shame.  

This is a huge political and social issue between Japan and Korea, and until 1992 was not recognized by the Japanese government as being the fault of the government.  I had read about this several times in various guidebooks and histories on Korea, but honestly, and a bid ashamedly, I wasn't really struck with the enormity.  I thought it would be cool to go to this safe house, get to have a new experience.  Interesting.  Another entry on the list of cool things I have gotten to do while in Korea.  Then I read over the website that Mariko sent me.  I read the posts and the newspaper articles and something clicked.  These women (there are only a handful alive today) speak of an atrocity that happened to thousands of women, an atrocity that even today is hidden from public view.  I am honored to learn more and possibly have the chance to talk with one of them.    

I find sometimes that I get too wrapped up in my little world, in the hundreds of things that determine how I feel at any particular moment.  Something like this makes me stop and examine myself, my choices, my life.    It makes me grateful for the opportunities that I have had and the world I have grown up in.  So many things in my life are a privilege, and there are many people who were never given any options at a happier life.  I hope that I can remember that next time I start complaining... 

Who needs Target when you have the Subway?

So, as any girl knows, the best remedy to the blues is a good healthy dose of shopping. Having received my first paycheck today, I was off to buy some essentials that I have been holding out on.  Back in the states, I pretty much run to Target for anything I need, and I really miss the familiar red dot.   Settling instead for one of the millions of stores here in Seoul, my friend Mariko and I headed to a huge discount store called 2000 Outlet because I really needed to buy cute shoes for work.  If I haven't mentioned it before now, Seoul has sooo many REALLY cute shoes that are super cheap.  While we were on our way, I was distracted by one of the small shoe shops they have in the subway.  These shops are at pretty much every subway stop and they have tons of cute shoes, but I hadn't really stopped to try shoes on before today.  Wouldn't you know, I ended up buying all of my shoes (3 pairs) there? And I only paid $40 dollars for all of them! I actually ended up buying a 4th pair in another cute little subway shop, plus a ton of other things I have been needing.  It was great fun, and to think the subway has become my Target.  Things are definitely different here.  :)

In the interest of making myself feel better, we also went to lunch at Outback.  After some baby back ribs and french fries I pretty much forgot where I was.  Aside from the fact that the baby back rib lunch entree is $25, it was pretty much like being back home.  After my day of shopping, lunch at a familiar restaurant, a pedicure, and a visit to a little gem of a store called I Love Cookie (a cute little store that has imported foreign food and product), I  am feeling a bit more optimistic about being here again.  Not that I am suddenly completely at home here, but that I am more eager to welcome the coming day.  That's really all life's about - being able to greet tomorrow with a smile.   :)

 

Culture shock and homesick

The funny thing about culture shock is that the full brunt of it hits you out of the blue.  For example, when you want to buy a soy chai latte, but cannot for the life of you explain it, and suddenly you find your eyes watering.  Or, after browsing through a grocery store where you feel completely uncomfortable, and where nobody tries to help you find the blasted garbage bags you HAVE to have here, you feel untold gratitude towards the clerk when you spot them at the corner market.  Sometimes it is the sight of something you didn't even know you missed, maybe don't even really enjoy - like Oreo cookies.  The countless frustrations throughout the day begin to just be part of the drill.  Get on the elevator with 3 people - all of whom ignore your presence.  Walk to school - nobody smiles or even makes eye contact as you pass.  Try to buy fruit from the street vendor, but he is annoyed (understandably so) with your lack of ability to count in Korean.  Ride the subway for hours around Seoul surrounded by millions of people that speak a language that you cannot understand.  While living in the middle of an area filled with cute boutique shops and tons of restaurants, you do not dare go into them, because to do so would put yourself in danger of having to communicate with somebody, or worse, NOT communicate with anybody.  

I am mostly ok with these things now.  It is a difference in cultures, and what used to dazzle and frustrate me easily, now is just a minor annoyance.  I have gotten good at just going about my day, and not worrying about how I am a puzzle piece that does not seem fit here.  The problem is that these things have a way of catching up at some point,  and that it is when culture shock really hits.  The lonely that seems like it will never end.  The overwhelming feeling that I will never really figure all of this out.  The heart-wrenching  sense that the only thing in the world I want is to be able to wake up in my bed, back in my world that I understand and am comfortable in.  The feeling always come and go, and I know they are not rational but it is hard nonetheless.  For me, I seem to get hit by culture shock the most in the middle of the night.  It starts by not being able to sleep.  Then, in order to try and go to sleep, I write.  When I write, all of those things that I think I am ok with just tumble out, and then I realize:  I am half the world away from everybody and everything I love.  I have some friends,  but overall, so far, I am totally by myself here.  And nothing, I really mean NOTHING is easy here.  Everything is hard.  I opened a bank account this week - I had to go back to the bank every day during my lunch hour for 3 days to get the correct debit card because the ban manager and I couldn't communicate with each other.  I get a new booklet for take-out food on my door almost everyday, but I can't order it because I can't read it; and I certainly can't communicate what I want.  The garbage has to be put in specific bags and taken to a specific part of the building where it is then separated into various recycling bins - which is great -  I love recycling!  The problem is that it took me about 2 weeks to figure out where to go, and how to get the bags that I needed, by which time I had some stinky garbage, as you might imagine.  I have been trying to learn some Korean, but where do I start with a language that is so far removed from anything I have ever experienced?  

These are all little things on their own, no big deal.  It is just hard when they bombard you at every turn, every time you do anything beyond your own little apartment.  I feel like a baby sometimes, just starting to walk.  I do everything very purposefully, with a great deal of trepidation.  I feel like I might fall at any moment, so I try to hold onto anything and everything I can.  It takes me several time to get something right, and to feel ok enough about it to do it with confidence.  

With that analogy in mind, I know these are just growing pains.  At some point down the road, I will be able to read Korean, and I will probably speak and understand enough of the language to get by.  I will have a larger friend base, and I will feel comfortable with the millions of little things I feel so absolutely uncomfortable with right now.  I will look back on this, and be glad that I wrote about it, because it is an important part of getting used to a new place, but I won't really be able to feel how I feel right now anymore.   I look forward to that day, but at the same time I know I have to go through these ups and downs before I start feeling really settled.  I may not, most likely ever, feel totally comfortable in Korea or in Asia in general.  I love home.  I love my family and my friends. I miss you all sooooo much right now.  I can't wait to be able to come home to visit.  Having said that, though, I love to travel.  I love that I am learning something about myself right now, and that I am experiencing something totally new.   Although some of the daily experiences may not be positive, at the end of the day there is more good than bad.   I know this will be a chapter in my life that I will always cherish, and these moments of culture shock and homesickness are just the part that makes the really good times even better.  

It is REALLY late, and I have a 12 hour day tomorrow.  I will be hurting tomorrow from being up this late writing, but it is good to get it out.  I haven 't written much the last couple of weeks because I felt that I needed to have exciting and fun entries for my blog. I did fun things, toured the city, went to the ocean, went to the mountains, but I have also felt isolated.  Who want to read a long blog about being lonely?  But, the reality is that I am not on vacation.  I am living here.  I am going through the same things I did at home.  Going to work, buying groceries, cooking dinner, washing the clothes, cleaning the apartment, working out.  I am in a new place though, so that is exciting, and I am in a far-away place, which is also exciting.  But I realized that I need to write about these things, the hard things, just as much as about the fun exciting things, because otherwise I misrepresent my life.  So - here it is, if you made it this far- this was a long blog!  :)   

xoxoxo